Thursday, January 29, 2009

I LOST MY PAYCHECK!!


YES, I DID!! Ohhh, do I feel stupid. I work 2:45p-11:15p. I came to work a few minutes early so that I could get my check, stuck it in my pocket and thats the last time I saw it. I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID WITH IT!!! I know I will get the money but its just so annoying! I will call HR in the morning if I every get to sleep and have them draft me a new one. Anyone else reading this who did the same thing?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai


Rahul and Anjali are students in a college in India. Anjali is attracted to Rahul but he only sees her as his best friend. They play basketball together and both have a fierce competitive attitude.
Then, along come Tina, another Indian girl, who catches Rahuls heart instantly. Tina, unknowingly, comes between Anjali and Rahul. She recognizes that Anjali is in love with Rahul but is unable to do anything to stop her own love for Rahul. Anjali leaves the college, using a sick family member as her excuse, which leaves Rahul bitter towards her for abandoning him.
Tina and Rahul get married and they lead a blissful life. Soon, Tina gets pregnant and gives birth to a baby girl who she names Anjali, in honor of Rahuls once-best friend. Shortly after their daughters birth, Tina dies, leaving Rahul alone to look after Anjali. He does a fairly good job at this, and Anjali grows up in his care. Before Tina dies, she writes a series of eight letters to her daughter, to be given to her on each of her first birthdays. On Anjalis 8th birthday, she learns, from the final letter, about the older Anjali and her love for her dad. In the letter, her mother is asking her to help reunite Rahul and Anjali as theirs was a love interrupted and it must be rekindled. The little girl, Anjali, sets forth on the task of bringing them together with the help of her grandmother, unsure if her dad will even accept another woman to take his late wife's place.
This movie is an amazing tale of love and sacrifice.
It is a MUST-WATCH!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna


Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna was, in its own right, a great movie staring Amitabh Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukerji, Preity Zinta, Abhishek Bachchan and Kirron Kher.

President Barack Hussein Obama

WHAT A LOVELY DAY!!



BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA WAS JUST SWORN INTO OFFICE
AS THE FOURTY-FOURTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
TODAY MARKS THE BEGINING OF A NEW JOURNEY!!

OH YEAH, AND IT SNOWED OVERNIGHT, SO EVERYTHING IS BLANKETED IN WHITE!!

Obama Inauguration


You know, I was sitting here watching the inauguration and noticed something curious. When the outgoing president was introduced, he was called President George Walker Bush. When the incoming president was introduced, he was called President-Elect Barack H. Obama. Now, what do you see within this information, that strikes you as odd? My only question is this... Is Obama ashamed of his middle name or was it done without him knowing? In my opinion, a name is simply a name, so why should it matter if they call him President-Elect Barack HUSSEIN Obama? Fear? Of what? My last name has Arabic origins and I am not afraid to use it. A name doesn't make the person, the person makes the name!!!

Kabhi Kushi Kabhie Gham


This is the first indian movie I saw and, to this day, it is still the best! It has all the greats! Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Hrithik Roshan, Kareena Kapoor and Rani Mukerji combine together to create the highest grossing Indian film until Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna stole the spotlight.




Monday, January 19, 2009

Daily Sentiment!

I'm feeling relief at the ceasefire and sadness at all the lifes that were lost to reach this point.

Gaza Genocide Aftermath


I just keep looking at this photo and think, "My God, what if that was me and my children with my husband leaning over us in mourning?!" That poor woman and her babies... what suffering. It breaks my heart into a million little pieces. God, kiss their cheeks and take them home where they belong.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Inspired!

I was browsing through some blogs when I came across Wishing For Wings That Work. On this blog, I watched the video you see below and was inspired to write a short poem. I am certainly not a poet, but I am entranced by the beautiful moves of dance accompanied by a beautiful voice. I hope you can appreciate it as I do.





Entranced
By: Nurse Nightingale

My ears, my eyes, my soul
held captive by such poise
The flow of graceful body
The fluidity of molten voice.

Wrapped in a sensual sound,
enveloped in a velvety shroud
in a realm of beauty
where I've been allowed

The chance to be lured
by voice, into a trance
of fluidity of body
flowing in a carnal dance.

A Message From A Baby

Look into my eyes...
Tell me, what do you see?
A terrorist?
A threat to your community?
I am only a BABY.

Gaza
















And blood will flow through the streets.........................

Daily Sentiment!


All I can say is Thank You God, for another day of a life free from pain and suffering, which is more than many people in this world can say. At this time, there are so many innocent lives being taken that it is difficult to keep count. So many children are dying in Gaza. So many innocent lives being wasted. So much pain, suffering, death, grieving, and desire for revenge. I've seen a man crying over his three dead children, the oldest no more than 4-5 years of age. I've seen a mother and father bent over, prostrated over their five children who were killed by those who claim that their attacks are justified. What did those children do to deserve the loss of their lives?

May God have mercy on the souls of the devils that roam this world as they reap what they are sewing. For those evil individuals, the time will come when all they have done will come back at them ten-fold for God granted freewill. With that gift, you can either lead a peaceful life full of good deeds or hang yourself with evil deeds.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Daily Sentiment!

I'm feeling a bit magical today!


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Daily Sentiment!


I'm feeling a bit unravelled today. Anyone have an extra embroidery needle or two?

You Can't Fix Stupid!

video

Monday, January 5, 2009

A tale to tell...

As any former little girl would know, Daddies are the most wonderful thing! If Daddy tells you a secret and swears you to secrecy, you pretend to zip your lips, lock them with a key, and toss it over your shoulder. Right? What if Daddy DID something and swore you to secrecy? What if you knew it was wrong but... "Its Daddy! How can I not trust him?! He said he wouldn't love me anymore if I told our secret!"...

Now, wrap your minds around my tale...

A sandy-haired, four year old little girl is sitting on a swing, kicking the ground with the toe of her scruffy play-shoes to set the swing in slow, steady motion. Her hair is hanging down both sides of her lowered head. She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a whoosh which blew her hair away enough to see a large tear fall and hit her knee.

A few feet away, a similarly sandy-haired, five year old little boy is standing and watching his little sister. He wants to play but she looks sad. He walks over to his little sister and stops in front of her. "Whats wrong, sissy?", he questions. She glances up at him and says, "Nothing". He huffs and replies, "If nothings wrong, why are you cryin' then?". "I said nothing, leave me alone!" she yells, and then returns her gaze to the dirt. "Ok, fine. I'll go tell Mom that you're being mean!" he says, as he turns to walk away. "NO! I'll tell you but promise you wont tell?" she pleads. "Ok, Promise!" he responds, triumphantly.

As the little girl spilled her secret, her brothers eyes filled with tears. He stepped closer to his little sister, thinking he could protect her in some way. The wrongness of what she was telling him sent chills down his small spine and hate into his heart. "Come on sissy, we have to tell Momma." The little girl stands up now, with fear in her heart, and stammers out, "B-but I can't! I sweared I wouldn't tell! He won't love me anymore!" Her big brother steps closer, took her hand, and said, "Sissy, you have to tell. It's not OK for Daddy to do that! I'll go with you and I'll hold your hand."

A brave, but scared, little boy, holding the hand of his terrified little sister walk into the house together. Momma is sitting on the recliner, watching her shows on T.V. Big brother and little sister go to stand in front of her. At first, Momma tries to look around them to see the screen. Then she noticed the tears running down the faces of her babies. "Whats wrong? Did someone get hurt?" she asks the teary-eyed children. "Sissy has something to tell you, Momma." The little girl looks at her big brother who nods at her and squeezes her hand, letting her know that it was ok and he would be right beside her.

A loving, concerned Momma listens quietly as her little girl tells her a tale involving herself and her Daddy. A painful and humiliating tale that will result in the loss of her Daddy's love. The little girl sobs through the story. The moment of realization hits and Mommas eyes take on the look of terror. She stands up and starts screaming. Her hands fly to her head and she starts ripping her hair out, a handful at a time, and dropping it to the floor, as her children watch. 'MY BABY!!' she is thinking, 'MY BABY!!! HOW COULD HE??? OH GOD, MY BABY!!!' Within the span of a few seconds, Momma has her daughter in her arms and her son by the hand and she is running down the street. 'I HAVE TO FIND A PHONE!' she is thinking. You see, they had no phone at home. She ran about a half a mile down the street and used a neighbors phone to call her mother, the childrens Granny, who in turn called the police.

A horrified, praying Granny drives to pick up her daughter and her two grandbabies and takes them to their Grandma's house (Granny's mom). A female police officer met the whole family there to question them. The little girl repeats her tale to the nice policewoman. The policewoman squats down in the floor in front of the little girl and gets close enough to hear her quiet, little voice.

A caring policewoman, who probably has children of her own, listens quietly to the little girls tale as she fights back tears. A decision is made to send the little girl to the hospital for a "check-up". They place the little girl on a hospital bed. She is surrounded by caring doctors and nurses and she is terrified!! They give her something that calms her down and proceed with their "check-up". "She won't remember any of it. She's too young to remember..." Too young to remember? Hmm...

At that same moment, the little girls daddy is being taken to jail to await trial. HIS mother insists that the little girl must have made it up. Who wants to believe their son would do something like that? The little girls mother must have put her up to it!! Denial lasted for some time, but acceptance and sorrow were inevitable.

The doctors suggest that the little girl go see a psychologist. The little girl refuses so, rather than insisting and upsetting her, Momma encourages her to talk about it. Momma wants nothing more than to see her husband rot in hell, but she tries to hide it. She wants no part of her feelings to pass to her daughter. Momma never understood how much she was helping her little girl. The little girl didn't need someone who knew nothing about her to talk about what happened. The little girl wanted her Momma, plain and simple. She knew Momma hated him. She remembered seeing the hair fall to the floor. That image would never fade away.

Momma, and her two little ones, move in with Granny and Papa. They have a small, two bedroom house, that Papa built. Life was good. Momma worked in the daytime while the little ones stayed with Granny. Life moved on and pain faded, but memories never did.

The little girl chose to forgive her Daddy, two years after the incident. She asked her Momma to take her to buy a gift for her Daddy. Momma took her, even though she didn't understand the little girls forgiveness, and the little girl bought a plaque for her Daddy. On the plaque is a poem about 'Forgiving'. That plaque still hangs on his wall today. Daddy's mom, who didn't want to believe it all, apologized. She apologized for not wanting to believe, for calling the little girl a liar, for accusing her Momma of telling the little girl what to say. She cried tears of sorrow and acceptance for what her son had done.

The little girl, now 30, still remembers the details of that day with strange clarity. Due to her mothers devotion and persistence, she is able to talk about what happened with only the smallest of tears. The tears are more for the pain her Momma went through, rather than what she went through herself. She thanks God every day for a big brother who didn't like to see his little sister cry and who knew right from wrong. If not for him, who knows how long it would have continued, unnoticed.

-------------------------

God, I want my children to feel that they can come to me with ANYTHING! I've raised them in such a way that they KNOW I will listen rather than judge. I pray that they always remember that. God, please keep my relationship with my children as strong as it is today, if not stronger. Amen.

Optical Illusion 25

What do you see? the flow of water between the rock walls becomes a flow of stone workers.

Optical Illusion 24


What do you see? Is the little girl IN or ON the puzzle? Is the little boy handing a puzzle piece to the girl or placing a puzzle piece to complete the girl?

Optical Illusion 23


What do you see? I see an interesting play of light on an object to give two different perspectives.

Optical Illusion 22

Optical Illusion 21

What do you see? Count the legs... :-O, do I see four or five?

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Intermission



Purple beauty in a sea of green, red, and yellow.....

More Interesting Product Lables

Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex: Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool: This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets.

Bowl Fresh: Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster: This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil: Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion: Keep away from children

Hair Coloring: Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap Directions: Use like regular soap.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash: May contain foam.

Sleeping Pills Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Christmas Lights Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.Bic Lighter Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight: This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Earplugs: These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge: Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control: Not Dishwasher Safe

Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire

Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption

Home Depot Treated Lumber: Do not consume

Hair Dryer Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Road Sign: Caution water on road during rain.

Camera: This camera will only work when film is inside.

Road Sign Cemetery Road: Dead End

Church Parking Lot Sign: Thou shalt not park

Silk Soy Milk: Shake well and buy often

Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Rowenta Iron Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

Slush Puppy Cup: This ice may be cold

American Airlines Peanuts Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Nabisco Easy Cheese: For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners: This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts

Heinz Ketchup Instructions: Put on food

Beach Ball CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.

Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

Curling IronWarning: This product can burn eyes.

Hair Dryer: Do not use in shower: Do not use while sleeping.

Hand-held Massaging Device: Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket: Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.

A toilet at a public sports facility: Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.

Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists: Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Container of Underarm Deodorant: Caution: Do not spray in eyes.

Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter: Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.

Toner cartridge for a laser printer: Do not eat toner.

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use.

Can of self-defense pepper spray: May irritate eyes.

Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock": Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.

A frisbeeWarning: May contain small parts.

A toilet bowl cleaning brush: Do not use orally.

A birthday card for a 1 year old: Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

Heated seat cushionWarning: Do not use on eyes.

Intermission

I FELT THAT WE NEEDED A BREAK FROM THE INFLUX OF WORDS..........

Interesting Product Labels

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:

1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.(The shoplifter special!)

12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.(And that would be how?)

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.(Too late! You lose!)

14. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.(Are you sure? Let's experiment)

15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.(As opposed to use in outer space?)

17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.(Now I'm curious.)

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.(Really?)

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.(I'm glad they cleared that up)

20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

22. On some frozen dinners -SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine -DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nightly sleep aid -WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.(Duh!)

Pet Peeves!!

I found this wonderful little website with a categorized listed of pet peeves that I felt I must repost. I agree with so many of them.

Against My Religion (Miscellaneous)

Grocery carts with one bad wheel or any other non-working parts
The saying "You've no need to worry if you're not doing anything wrong."
Turning on a bedside light w/o warning, thus ensuring a victim's pupils are fully dialated
Saying "Let there be light" every time any light switch is flipped anywhere
Referring to any agency of national government as 'the fed'
Collections of used paper grocery sacks or roadmaps that aren't all folded correctly
The idea that sibs share 50% of their genes, when we actually share 98% with apes
Utility service reps that don't show up on the day appointed, even with an 8 hr window
Essays that begin in this way: "According to Webster..."
Ruining one's shoes by walking on the backs of them


Advertising Pet Peeves

The radio whine of Blue Diamond Almonds "One can a week is all we ask."
Paul Harvey's crappola about how a certain cleaning product was invented by a man!
Rolaids' disclaimer: "Lab results may not correlate with symptom relief."
"Ask your doctor if drug X is right for you" without any further hint


Difficult People Pet Peeves

Explanations beginning with the word 'Again'
The expression that "Nobody can hurt you unless you let them."
Mumbling, then annoyedly saying "Forget it!" when people naturally don't hear
When anyone thinks their "don't remember" might trump my "do remember"
When anyone thinks my "don't remember" is an affront to their "do remember"
Weedling a promise out of someone while they're trying to be left alone to sleep
Asking "Do you suggest ___?" Where the blank is clearly something not suggested
Anyone who follows a peer around making inconsequential "corrections" to their work
Thinking that one has the only correct background for understanding an issue
Purposefully mangling someone's name or handle as a form of ridicule, eg. Klinton
Anybody showing up more than an hour late when I've cooked a very fancy meal
Shouting "drop it" the moment a conversation veers into an unwanted direction.



Travel Pet Peeves

Rolling suitcases with too narrow a wheelbase. Backwards clothes hangers.
Bathroom stalls with a mirror positioned so one can see their whole self while seated
Pants with waistband buttons pointing inward
Airline speak: "The lavatories ARE equipped with smoke detectors, so DO refrain..."
Not knowing if you've taken two pictures with a camera or there are just two left
Being expected to carry something (esp water) for someone who won't carry a purse
Failing to take a backpack into account when turning or backing into people


Mealtime Pet Peeves

Restaurant forks whose tines don't stand up in a perfectly straight line
Using a napkin for eating messy food & leaving it on the table throughout the meal
Cooks that don't clean up as they go
Touching the salt or pepper shaker with really greasy or BBQ'y fingers


Housekeeping Pet Peeves

Greeting cards that throw sparkles, sequins or confetti on the hapless recipient
Setting dirty dishes on top of dirtier ones, thus dirty hands for the dish wash person
Installing a toilet paper roll so that the tissue unwaps from the under side of the roll
Using the TP down to the last ten squares without fetching a new roll
Finding a shoe anywhere and finding its mate not right next to it
A habit of tossing dirty cutlery into the side of the sink where the disposal lives
Finding same brand replacement parts for grocery store tools, eg. mop heads Products with 'Advance' in their name, instead of 'Advanced'
Towels folded wrong way first, so they won't hang on a rack without first refolding
Filthy, filthy, grimy, dirty keyboards.
Having a drawerful (or more) of unknown cords, transformers, rechargers, adapters...
Hangers... how they get all tangeled with each other


Television Pet Peeves

Changing the TV channel without asking when anyone is clearly watching
Standing in my line of sight to the TV during the last 30 seconds of any show
Finding a TV remote in the car or anywhere else where it couldn't possibly be used
TV shows or ads with doorbells, ringing phones, or alarm clocks.


Automotive Pet Peeves

Car passengers that throw their doors wide open without first checking for obstacles
Car security systems that signal their armed status by honking
That back windows of SUVs are curved to always reflect sun into my eyes
Braille signs at drive through windows
Taking forever to leave a parking space while others are clearly waiting for it
Business driveways that make cars bottom out. Speed bumps.
Radio ads featuring horns, sirens, or people yelling "Look out!"
Big bruisers that get confrontational with the handicapped about their parking space
Sneezing or coughing while driving with a weak bladder


Danger Pet Peeves

Standing in the way of folks wishing to use an escalator, moving sidewalk or doorway
Retail establishments displaying stuff on thin metal sticks hanging at toddler eye level
Leaving sharp or pointy things like scissors, pencils, lego toys in chairs or beds
Keeping books or magazines on the floor, especially in high traffic areas
Swinging a cigarette wildly while making way through a crowd
Giving or getting lethal tools or weapons as gifts, especially for weddings, anniversaries
Offering amonia and bleach for sale side by side on shelves with no lips in quake zones
Thinking of some safety item as a gift then having to get it because, if you don't...


Telephone Pet Peeves

Being put on the speakerphone without warning
The common phone-tree assurance "Your call will be answered in the order received"
Cold call sales reps who refuse to give a name but promise to call back
Businesses that play distracting music while customers are trying to read while on hold
Receiving fundraising calls on behalf of police, firefighters or other public servents
Allowing a phone cord or hair dryer cord to become hopelessly tangled
Cold callers for the "man of the house" leaving no message & saying they'll call back
Retail clerks that ignore the live customer to help one that interrupts via phone


Wrapped for TV
(Did you ever notice that on TV...):

gifts come in separately wrapped box and lid for easy opening
nobody says goodbye before hanging up the phone
when people want to talk behind someone's back they just step away a bit first
arthritis is always referred to as a "minor pain"
there is a disease called "The Heartbreak of Psorisis"
cars are given as gifts, with gigantic bows on top
expository is so transparent


Obnoxious Advertising

Paul Harvey promotes a cleaning product. You see, it all began when Mr. Mom went back into the home. Of course he dreaded the house work. But, like a man, he set about to do something about it. And wonder of wonders if he didn't come up with a miracle. Product X. Yes, it takes a man to invent a cleaning solvent blah blah blah...


Dylsexic Moments

Which comes first in baseball, the top or the botom?
When the door says TUO on it, do you use it or not?
Is it my right eye or my left eye that sees a little bit worse than the other?
Is Daylight Saving Time in the winter or in the summer?
Do I turn clockwise or counter clockwise on my showerhead to get pulsed water?
SOS: dash-dash-dash-dot-dot-dot-dash-dash-dash or vise versa?
Why is "Spring forward; fall back" considered more logical than the reverse?


Rediculous Product Warnings
Here's just a small sample of actual warnings.

On car window reflector: “Remove before driving”

Bag of airline peanuts: "Caution: May Contain Peanuts"

Package of batteries: "Batteries Not Included"

Spear gun: "Do not point directly at face."

Vacuum cleaner hose: "Keep Away From Penis"

Box of animal crackers: "No animals were harmed during the manufacture of this product."

Bag of potato chips: "Due to the law of averages, some unbroken chips may accidentally be included in this package."

Restaurant bathroom: "Employees must wash hands before spitting in customers' food"

Ashton Kutcher videos: "May cause nausea, headache or drowsiness."

Box of Miracle-Gro plant food: "Not meant to be used on penis."

Bottle of French dressing: «Apprenez svp à parler une langue étrangère, bâtards américains paresseux.»

Cellular telephones: "Frequent use of this product while driving is encouraged by the American Organ Donor Consortium."

Political campaign speeches: "Any claims or promises are meant as entertainment only and do not represent actual product performance."

ATM machines: "Please Do Not Insert Penis"

Coffins in The Democratic Republic of Congo:

Florida voting ballots: "Not Legally Binding"

The Bill of Rights: "May be modified, suspended or discontinued at any time without notice or liability."

SUV gas caps: "A donation in your name has been forwarded to al-Q'aeda."

ShredCo Industrial Penis Slicer: "Not Recommended for Use on Hot Dogs, Sausages or Cucumbers"

Project Aiko - The Fembot



Quoting her maker, Lee Trung (http://www.projectaiko.com)

"Aiko was built in my basement using credit card loans and my entire savings account as funding. One of my dreams is to make Aiko walk and do other house chores. I cannot do this without your donations and support. The donations will go towards new motors, sensors and mainboards to design Aiko’s new arm and leg systems.

Aiko is the first android to react to physical stimuli and mimic pain. This technology could be applied to people born with or who have undergone amputations. Aiko is the first step towards a life-like mechanical limb that has the ability to feel physical sensations.

I started to build Aiko on August 15, 2007. About 1.5 months later Aiko version 1 was completed. Aiko made her first public appearance at the HobbyShow on November 2007 at Toronto International Center, and Ontario Science Center a week later. Aiko is bilingual, she can speak English and Japanese.

Yes, Aiko has silicone in her entire body.

Yes, Aiko has sensors in her body including her prviate parts, and yes even down there.

AND NO I do not sleep with her."



I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT HE FELT HE HAD TO COVER THAT LAST LITTLE BIT.

WAS THAT A DEFENSIVE STATEMENT?

Yaaaaaaawns!!!



Ok, be honest. How many of you had to yawn after looking at this hilariously true scenario? My hand is raised.

Daily Sentiment!






Yep, you guessed it! I'm so sleepy!!!! I think I may have slept about 2 or 3 hours in total last night.

Optical Illusion 20


Optical Illusion 19



What do you see? They took something 3-dimensional and morphed it into some kind of 8th dimension mutant.

Optical Illusion 18



What do you see? A confused set of arrows!

Optical Illusion 17



What do you see? The border seems to be wavy but if you put a ruler against the lines, or anything straight for that matter, you will find that it is perfectly straight.

Optical Illusion 16



What do you see? The image in the inner circle seems to be moving independent of its enclosing circle.

Optical Illusion 15


What do you see? The picture seems to be rippling as you look around.

Optical Illusion 14